Archives

May 2015
Two Million Light Years

April, 2015
This Place Is Fancy
A Supposedly Fun Thing
Amateur Hour

March, 2015
The One Where We Have A Son

February, 2015
This Last Week

December, 2014
Family Picture
Little By Little

October, 2014
God Only Knows
Eighty Days
Float

September, 2014
Home Range

August, 2014
The Envelope
Powerful Minds
Today
Resultada del test
The Wedding, Part II
The Wedding, Part I

June, 2014
Fixed It.

May, 2014
House Rules
It Has A Way
[Science Words]

April, 2014
One Out of Two
The Ones That Get Away
Sprinkled With Nuts

March, 2014
Filled To The Brim

February, 2014
Once Upon A Time
My Genetically Modified Ox
This Is Why All Decisions Regarding Cheese Should Go Through Me
I Planned This

January, 2014
There Should Be More Public Service Announcements About This
This Is How You Get Arrested For Being A Good Citizen
If You Had Asked Me An Hour Ago
The One Where We Put Fish In The Coffee Maker
Grumble Grunt Grunt
A Warmly Lit Spot

December, 2013
The Real Winner Here
There’s An Onion In The Bed

November, 2013
You Can’t Just Sit In A Woodshed
It Might Be A Megaturnip

October, 2013
An Educated Guess
Pack Your Knives

September, 2013
Moms These Days (Part II)
Moms These Days
In A Flash

August, 2013
Make Way For Dumplings
Untitled Number 11

July, 2013
Better Than We Are
Heading North
Plucked Like A Chicken

June, 2013
In Real Life
The Couch Brigade

May, 2013
Consider Me The Lobster
Revelations From A Creek Bed In Rural Alabama
The Great Tortilla Caper

April, 2013
A Chicken And Eggton Situation
Pollentown
Angel
Yachtless

March, 2013
My Amazing Dreamcoat
This Kind Of Behavior Is Completely Optional
We Should Have Worn Hats
Including, perhaps, sprouts!
Surviving The Times

February, 2013
This Bathroom Is Full Of Wiener Dogs
The Elements Of Style
On Living In A Small Town
Like A Baby
Chocolate Body Paint Is Not A Well-Balanced Meal, You Guys
Mistakes Were Made

January 2013
The World Is A Rainbow Of Crazy, My Diva Muffins!
A Heads-Up About My Inauguration
Operation Goat Coat
Eggton v. The Flu
This Was A Mistake, Not A New Year’s Resolution
Just A Poem And A Cake

December 2012
The Christmas Reveal
Craftmas 2012
Said Nobody Ever
This Was A Royal Pain In The Tannenbaum If You Ask Me

November 2012
Spinach Brownies Are Okay Unless You Have To Eat Them
A Piece Of It
What Not To Do With A Bottle Of Port
I Will Deny This When We Open A Bed & Breakfast Someday
Let’s Hear It For The Old Ladies
It Was A Halloween Miracle

October 2012
Let It Out
I Carried The Pumpkin Bread
On The Question Of Wearing Pants
An Alabama Autumn
What It’s Really Like Over Here
A Greens Pie For Tasia’s Table

September 2012
Someday They’re Going To Give Me A Medal For This Stuff
Again With The Farm Animals
This One Chance
All That And A Bag Of Trouts
Magnetic Decoupling: It’s A Real Thing
The Truth About Gardening
Adventure on Lookout Mountain

August 2012
Southern Road Trip, Part II
Southern Road Trip, Part I
No Offense To Bears Or Harry S. Truman
This Can’t Be How Sleep Works
Late Bloomin’
Shall We Say I’ve Been Traveling?

July 2012
Scratch That
Ms. F. And The Jelly Bean Monster
Adventures In DEET
Red Herring
An Open Letter To All Advice Columnists
Health Care: From Headgear To The Present
Next Time We’ll Bring A Battery Pack
This Is Just To Say

June 2012
In Which I Narrowly Avoid A Van Full Of Baby Mick Jaggers
Live Reporting From The Bathtub, In A Helmet
I’m Going To Need The World’s Smallest Fanny Pack For This
Platform 9 3/4
To Catch A Sheep

May 2012
A Tale Of Two Roads
Free Cheeseballs And Vodka In One Easy Step
Because Vacation Is More Fun When You’ve Planned Absolutely None Of It In Advance
This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things
Oh, The Places I’ll Go For A Free T-Shirt

April, 2012
What A Swell Party This Turned Out To Be
You Don’t Always Get What You Want, And Sometimes You Get Burpy Cucumbers
Are You Awake?
The Time I Lost To A Bowl Of Fruity Pebbles
My Case For An Outdoor Butler

March, 2012
The Neverending (Sleeping Pill) Story
And Now We Have To Move
Why I Almost Spent The Night Hiding In Pottery Barn
How To Annoy The Zoo And Your Elected Officials Before Breakfast
All This Started Because I Put Cheese Puffs Down The Garbage Disposal
An Open Letter To The Hotel Manager Who Looked Relieved When We Checked Out
My Guilt Fairy Gets Out Her Wand

February, 2012
We Drop The Ball On The Water Buffalo Situation And Eat A Coconut Lemon Loaf
Even Journey Sings Journey In The Shower
I Join The Gourd Society By Accident And We Eat Green Poblano Rice
My Petunias See Some Action And We Eat Irish Soda Bread
We Welcome Rutherford Into The Family And Eat Cashew Chicken
Three Love-Themed Gifts That Make Me Want To Drink A Bottle Of Nail Polish Remover
Survival Of The Fishiest
Why I Need A Chauffeur, GPS, And Possibly A Lawyer

January, 2012
An Open Letter To The Late Lucas The Squirrel
An Open Letter To The Public Works Department
5 Reasons Not To Cup
Cloudy With A Chance Of Fruit Bats
I Hurt Myself Dancing With Javier Bardem.  Sort Of.
Relax.  And Pull Up Your Swim Pants.
Kanye West’s Apple Butter Idea Cake
How My French Exchange Student Stole Prom
A Birthday (With Cocktail Puffs)

December, 2011
Not My Holiday
Christmas Road Trip
The Pre-Christmas Edition
December 17 + Tomato Beans
Scoot
Deconstructing Christmas
Flow

November, 2011
The Cure For Anything
Out Of The Mouths Of Babes Overheard At The Supermarket
The Time I Was Hypnotized By A Goat
Home Depot Hero
Black Cherry Granola
Pogo Sticks + Pomegranates
Cookies For Conan
Stink-Eyes And Zucchini Apple Gratins
Babysitting Reindeer

October, 2011
Mostly Blowing Things Up
Icy Troll-Hair Pond
Space Camp, 1992
Deep Holes And Cheese Puffs
Derby Girl Ice Cream
Halloween
History Lesson

September, 2011
Thunder Overcomes Addiction
The Entire Grit-Eating World
The Back Yard, Or The Last Days Of Bama Tomato
Potato Peppers
Squash!
The Beginning